How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
