belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
