I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
