ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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