It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
