this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
