After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
