dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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