a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
