whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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