apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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