I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
