i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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