Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
