Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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