Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
