i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
