He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he had hair everywhere except his balls
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
