Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Last time i carry you out of a forest
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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