fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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