This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
