Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
