Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
