What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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