It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize