I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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