Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
