So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
