i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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