i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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