I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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