Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
