I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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