I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
