i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
