I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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