brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
