shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
