All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
