we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
