Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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