The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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