i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
