She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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