You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
