There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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