is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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