Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
is wine microwaveable?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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