u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
