whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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