apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
