so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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