eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
