Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
