Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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