I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
