Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
