so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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