wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize